“…if a new era of transparency throws light on the secretive deals struck in the boardrooms of the BBC, insiders warned of dramatic changes to the way it does business that could set it on a collision course with its stars and their agents.

“‘There would be an absolute feeding frenzy,’ says Mark Borkowski, the entertainment industry publicist and founder of Borkowski PR. ‘It would spark a war between the media and celebrities over the amount the BBC pays and suddenly agents will need to convince the media their guy has value.’”

OK, Dave is enjoying surfing on the bubbly froth of post-election hype and confidence, but frankly he is a fit-for-purpose, well-designed, media-facing PM. A shiny Middle England man in an M&S suit broadcasting his POV like a airline pilot transmitting a pre-flight weather forecast. Evan Davis could not get a word in edgeways . Instead, he was left covered in Cameron-slick as the PM steamrollered his questions.

Obviously Dave is briefed very well and is prepared for every battle; after all he is an ex #PR flak. But I detect a secret weapon lurking in his arsenal and I suspect has been trained well to apply it with maximum force. It’s a frightening technique I have not witnessed before – one that seems unique to Smooth FM Dave.

His pitch-perfect #PR front is delivered “didgeridoo style”.

According to Wikipedia, the didgeridoo is played with continuously vibrating lips to produce the drone whilst using circular breathing. This requires breathing in through the nose whilst simultaneously expelling stored air out of the mouth using the tongue and cheeks. By use of this technique, a skilled player can replenish the air in their lungs and, with practice, can sustain a note for as long as desired.

Cameron now transmits answers to questions in paragraphs using circular breathing to fill the interviews with his Middle England Democratic Kant. The delivery technique does not allow an interviewer to get in – not even a foot on the ladder – and, if and when they try, Cameron is on to the next long note, the next subsection, without taking a breath.

Cameron is setting the bar really high. Whoever is up front and centre next to him must take note. My advise would be to take a long break and get some help from an Aboriginal tribe.

Think circular. Breathe circular. Cameron’s didgeridoo interview technique is the way forward.

Mascot merchandising from the Beijing Olympics

The London Olympics committee launch the 2012 Olympic mascot tonight on the One Show and everyone with an interest in design is hoping that it’s not a dog’s breakfast, like the logo, which looks, most unfortunately, like an abstracted version of a Simpsons porn cartoon as drawn by a committee, all of whom were wearing blindfolds.

That they are launching the mascot on the One Show is a good sign – they realise that they need to get momentum underway to keep the Olympic brand in the public eye in as positive a way as possible. It’s absolutely wonderful PR, getting this slot on Primetime TV, which will see it talked about through the night after a couple of days build up and should take away some of the sting of the post-logo criticism.

There’s no doubt that they will be using the mascot to keep the cash flow to the Olympics steady – people will doubtless be buying it as a collectors item – but my hope is that they will be honouring the best British designers in a way that the logo just didn’t.

Do they believe that Britain has an appetite for great design? I hope so, because if they fail in this, it’ll be an indication that political correctness and quango culture will have forced the Olympics away from a celebration of all that’s great about Britain – the Olympics celebrations should never just be about the sport. Will the committees have the bravery and initiative to make this a great Olympic mascot? Here’s hoping.

As long as the mascot is not an actual White Elephant – that would stretch Britain’s capacity for irony just a little too far.

The BBC seem to think that the revelations about cutbacks in the last few days are a job well done, given the leak to the Times and the reactions it engendered. The deliberate leak is certainly a small PR coup, given that it went to one of the papers most vocally opposed to the BBC and it shows Auntie Beeb willing to wield the axe.

But will the cutting of BBC6 Music and the Asian Network be seen, at least by papers such as the Daily Mail who are naturally opposed to the BBC and didn’t get the exclusive, as anything more than cosmetic, as more than the the wielding of a very small axe? Given that exclusives are thin on the ground nowadays, what could the long-term PR repercussions of not giving them the story too be? I suspect that it may involve papers that didn’t get the deal finding bigger axes of their own.

Not that they should spread themselves amongst the papers too thinly, either, as Andrew Lloyd Webber did with his recent appearance on innumerate covers plugging the Phantom of the Opera sequel, Love Never Dies. Love dies pretty quickly if you offer up exclusives to everyone. A short-term PR buzz will not over-ride media ill will at being played for long.

It appears that the BBC is an organisation run by media opinion rather than careful management. They would surely be better off if they showed a little Reithian backbone. In a recession, it is easy for the media to quibble with Jeremy Paxman’s £1 million wage. The BBC should not cave in and start paying him less – in Paxman’s case, given his interrogative and fearless style, it is money well spent. It’s also worth remembering that the US networks would consider such a sum peanuts.

Small PR coups are not what the BBC should be about. They need to stick closer to their guns and believe in themselves more fiercely. They should learn from Paxman; they need to be the interrogators in their relationship with the media, presenting a strong agenda rather than sheepishly seeking the approval of opponents who would gladly tear the entire corporation to shreds.

It certainly seems like the Fame Formula is finding a life of its own again – I’ve recently received a number of emails and tweets from people who like the book. I’m humbled by their praise – and intrigued by one tweet that insists that the book has more to say about the ad industry than most books actually about the ad industry.

I suspect that this may have something to do with the corporatisation of the industry – there have always been interesting people in both PR and advertising but as the money gets bigger, so the personalities and the opportunities for risk-taking reduce.

Mad Men, which is starting on the BBC again, is proof of the changes that have been wrought, but it’s a shame that the fictional world this excellent show portrays has obscured the real characters who created the industry. They seem so utterly real – and make real ad men seem insubstantial by comparison.

The Fame Formula is a celebration of the huge characters of PR, of the risk-takers who built the business up. It would be good to see something, be it book or documentary, that gives a greater focus on the real characters of the advertising industry too.

Essentially, Ross is no longer the whipping boy of the BBC haters and his departure will more than likely lead to new and exciting pastures for him. He’s a potent personality. Without him, however, what big names does the BBC have? And what big names are they likely to be able to get?

The pressure of a public service agenda in a commercial world is likely to weigh heavy on the shoulders of the corporation – if they cannot nurture talent like Ross in competition with the commercial sector, they’re in serious trouble. If the BBC can’t set the agenda, they will be running around like headless chickens whilst the Mail gloats and the Murdochs rub their hands together gleefully.

It is well past the time that someone came up with something new; startlingly, compellingly new and strange that we can all rail against and then learn to love. Instead, 2010 offers a year of slight tweaks, starting with the Apple brand in the shape of the rumoured iSlate – which, if it is more than mere rumour, will be a rather obvious cross between the iPhone and iMac.

There will also surely be more of the same from the performing poodles at Downing Street, searching for the perfect soundbite to distract from wrong-doings via the medium of Twitter and YouTube. An election will not change this quest – we have spent the last 35 years learning that it really is the case that the Government always gets in. With worrying certainty, the BNP will be attempting to build on their form at the election – and may do better than they deserve if, as I suspect, the expenses scandal makes a comeback for the campaign period.

From racism, we move to sexism and agism. One can only hope that the BBC will cease and desist in its attempts to refresh struggling brands in a way that suggests that the execs at the BBC are interested only in chasing ratings. Ironically, their attempts are usually at the expense of ratings – as happened with Alesha Dixon’s arrival on Strictly Come Dancing last year replacing the older, smarter but less obviously attractive Arlene Phillips.

This will be yet another X Factor year, too, a year of Tiger Woods remaining in the news as he attempts to salvage his brand, a year of uber-comedians like Michael Macintyre (how long is it since comedy was last pushed as the new rock and roll?), a year of Katie Price and Peter Andre maintaining their presence in the media (already two of Katie’s exes are rumoured to have been fighting on Celebrity Big Brother).

I can well imagine that someone will fill Jan Moir’s shoes as ‘most hated journalist’ after making off colour remarks about a dead celebrity this year. You never know, it might even be Jan Moir again.

Stephen Fry will doubtless be continuing his on-again-off-again affair with Twitter (he’s currently away for some months as he writes a book – a better get-out than reacting to accusations of tediousness as he did last year); brands like Coca Cola will surely continue to try and hijack social media for their own ends; stars will attempt to ride the notoriety of other stars a la Sacha Baron Cohen, as Bruno, descending on Eminem at an awards ceremony – a stunt which had to be retrofitted as prearranged after the rapper appeared to take serious umbrage.

As global warming seems to be blurring the seasons, I am left wondering if someone hasn’t simply decided to replace nature’s seasons with commercial seasons; a cycle that allows us to put the world in some sort of order, however facile. If I’m right – and not just jaundiced – then the commercial seasons are driven by Simon Cowell, movies, fashion and human frailty. Technology changes the way things work at a ferocious rate – we need something to hide behind, especially as the bodies of soldiers continue to come back in bodybags and we lose control of the things we understand.

But this patina of formula also destroys innovation, so unless someone breaks through it and brings something new – as well as a furious amount of energy – to the mix, we are doomed to another stifling year of more of the same…

It may not be a wholly original stunt, but it is a clever and effective one for the internet age – it allows the Finnish company to get search engine optimisation in the run up to the festive season and keeps the newly unpronouncable man from Wisconsin in ready cash for a while. I think it’s a tremendous PR scam designed to get the public conversation going about the company in time for Christmas.

Here’s the MP3 version, if you’d like to hear more.

Whilst Griffin’s repulsive views were made apparent in amongst the barrage of anger let loose by the audience and panellists, and whilst I am sure that his horrible vacillations will turn some people off, I am also certain that the sight of him slick with sweat and laughing nervously, at times like a small boy in the playground surrounded by bullies, will make him seem sympathetic, even credible, in some quarters. I am also certain that the oxygen of publicity will make Griffin seem all the more credible in the eyes of the dispossessed voters who helped him gain a European seat. All in all, I think last night’s Question Time was a no win situation for all.

Except for Bonnie Greer.

Politicians of all stripes could learn a thing or two from Bonnie Greer’s peerless decimation of Griffin. She treated him seriously enough to draw him in, dealt with him as if he was not a lunatic and used the comfort zone she created between them – she was sat right next to him, which helped – to carefully, dryly and, with a measure of irony that was glorious to behold, offer him a good, solid rope with which he promptly hung himself. She only came close to losing her temper once, when Griffin suggested that David Duke was all right because he was an “almost non-violent” member of the Ku Klux Klan. Even this she passed off with not much more than seriously raised eyebrows and some careful argument.

Without Bonnie Greer and, to a lesser extent Lady Warsi, this would have been a very different programme; one which could have created a great deal more sympathy for Griffin. Politicians take note!

Griffin’s PR nous comes hard earned – the BNP’s Director of Publicity, Mark Collett, has had his share of run-ins with the television, having been caught on camera during Channel 4’s Young, Nazi, and Proud documentary in 2002 declaring his admiration for Adolf Hitler and calling homosexuals “AIDS monkeys” on Russell Brand’s Re:Brand show in the same year. Collett is highly unlikely to want Griffin to fall into the same trap, despite the strong likelihood that he will be mercilessly provoked.

So should we allow a thug in a well-cut suit on the TV to attempt to seduce the masses? Is Griffin likely to raise his status to that of statesman in the circumstances? Prohibition would, I suspect, be more likely to fan the flames of disaffection among voters – who have much to be disaffected about at the moment, hence the 6% who voted BNP in the European elections – and the last thing most people, let alone most politicians, want is to allow them more chances to snare votes.

The hope, then, is that Griffin will succumb to anger and show his dark side, which has been slathered in nice suits and careful spin for the last few years. Gordon Brown has gone on record this morning to say that: “it will be a good opportunity to expose what [the BNP] are about”. Russell Brand has said it with more style in The Sun. According to Brand it will help to let the BNP “gurgle up their chuckle-brained hate-broth” on Question Time. “The right thinking people of the Earth are on relatively safe ground when it comes to the ‘war of words’ with televised bigots,” he adds.

A few years ago Griffin told a meeting of the American Friends of the BNP (which included the then leader of the Ku Klux Klan) that: “Once we’re in a position where we control the British broadcasting media, then perhaps one day the British people might change their mind and say, ‘yes, every last [immigrant] must go’. But if you hold that out as your sole aim to start with, you’re not going to get anywhere. So, instead of talking about racial purity, we talk about identity.”

With this in mind, I think that Michael Corleone’s advice in The Godfather Part 2 – “Keep you friends close, but your enemies closer” – is the best bet. Let’s keep Griffin and his hateful, hate-full party close and hope that they deliver a horse’s head to their own bed, making it clear just how appalling their views, which they keep simmering under the veneer of careful PR, really are.