One sacking, several arrests (ambush marketing being illegal in South Africa) and a barrel-full of free publicity for Bavaria later and the only clear winner is the beer company, although the attractive young ladies – already described as ‘blonde bombshells’ in tabloids and blogs – will probably enjoy their day in court.

Anyone wanting to manage a crisis should never have let this get to court, of course. The great American publicist Jim Moran, who I wrote about in The Fame Formula, always wanted to get his stunts to court so as to achieve maximum notoriety and ability to push out sound bites on behalf of his clients. This is the man who said “It’s a sad day for American democracy if a man can’t fly a midget on a kite over Central Park” after the police stopped him from executing that stunt in the 1940s.

The biggest loser in all this is, of course, Robbie Earle, who has hired Phil Hall to help massage any potential long-term career damage and who should take more care about where his largesse is actually going in future. I doubt he actually knew that the tickets he passed on were going to a guerilla marketing company but regardless.

But I can’t imagine that the sponsors will be too happy that FIFA, instead of starving the incident of oxygen actually fanned the flames of publicity by letting it get to court. A big company’s sponsorship is dependent on exclusivity – but enforcing the law rigorously with a group of attractive women is always going to attract further, and unwanted, interest.

TV learned the lesson with streakers – ignore them and the tendency to seek publicity by stripping withers and dies. Had FIFA done this, and had ITV waited a while before ousting Earle, we would likely not have heard of Bavaria beer except as a passing reference, an arcane trivia quiz question in years to come. But thanks to the manhandling of the situation, the midgets are flying over New York for all to see. Jim Moran would have been delighted.

Look carefully at the hands of the ape on the right...

A hug from Danni and Simon may be all very well, but it seems that The Fame Formula is the hardened fame seeker’s reference book of choice when it comes to helping build the courage to leap onto the first greasy rung of the ladder of stardom. Personally, I can’t help hoping that some more audition hopefuls will, er… ape these guys and go out and buy the book…

The guys from Bragster, the social networking site for daredevils, were the ones dressed in the gorilla suits, braving the raised eyebrows of Cowell and co. The site’s boss Bertrand was dared to take part by his colleagues, with £1000 going to charity on the condition that he get a hug from one of the main judges. Here’s a link to some footage of him in action on the ITV website – I particularly like his version of I Want to Be Like You…

Rows in TV are fantastic copy for the dailies, but never a good thing for the talent; they’re often a wounding career move. I have been on This Morning once or twice and I like both Fern and Philip. I think they are both terrific broadcasters and stand shoulder to shoulder in the talent stakes.

Perhaps, if there is one factor that separates them, it’s that one embraces the modern techniques of digital PR and the other doesn’t. Far too simplistic you cry, but is it really? If we know one thing, it’s that the digital PR space is a subtle knife, which has unfathomable, hidden depths, which can sharpen a celebrity’s ability to persuade and inform.

We are not privy to the fine detail of the true row between Fern and ITV – it will be left to the unnamed friends and spokespeople to whisper into eager ears to keep this particular soap opera on the pages of the red tops. The hullabaloo will undoubtedly pick up pace over the weekend – until boredom sets in – but I believe it has lessons to teach us all in the game of brand husbandry.

Philip Schofield is a keen advocate of the digital space. He has a lively blog and a refined online presence. He uses Twitter well and is building a profile that is both honest and engaging. There is also a hint of vulnerability in his Tweets. We see his brand through a prism of tweets and the Twitter folk cherish his banter as he moves through cyberspace like a weekend charity half marathon runner.

Twenty years ago, his brand of celebrity would have been engaged in constant fete openings, ready with a smile and oodles of time to sign autographs for ladies of a certain vintage. But Scofe is a hands-on collaborator in the digital PR process and has generated a subliminal channel of support as a result. Perhaps this consideration suggests that he has a real hunger to remain relevant and that he recognises what it takes to stay ahead. No wonder people are paying top dollar for his services.

I would suggest that there is no complacency in Scofe’s world, just a craving not to be mutton dressed as mutton. Fern, on the other hand, has perhaps suffered from being a little too relaxed; she was certainly bruised by her unfair treatment at the hands of the News of the World. Her only crime was a lack of transparency regarding her weight loss, but negative press can create disconnection and a mistrust of the process. Scofe, however, has built the tools to reinforce his brand value whereas Fern feels like a superpower with a rusting arsenal of weapons, hampering her ability to fight back. I pray she doesn’t become a footnote – she has a crowd of support but she needs to source it!

Another TV talent who has proved that he can rise above the fug of negativity with the same tools is Jonathan Ross. I was not surprised when he received a BAFTA nomination. He too has created a virality and herd that has interacted with his brand since he started using Twitter. It’s a new dawn for celebrity engagement – the writing is on the virtual wall.

The analogue media should be looking over their shoulders; it might well be fortuitous that the This Morning bust up is played out today. But in the future the stars will have their own digital media to drive their brands forward without the perilous media high-wire walk.